Public Displays of Allyship Save Lives

These buttons saved a child's life.

He was 11 years old and on his 4th suicide attempt when his mother approached me at a restaurant. She helped herself to a seat at my table and immediately burst into tears as she told me about her past 6 months trying to keep him alive.

Puberty had started, and her son was absolutely adamant that he was not a girl.

Her ex-husband, and abuser, shamed and taunted the kid for believing he was a boy. He prohibited the mom from starting puberty blockers. He threatened to sue for full custody if she got him gender-affirming care of any kind.

She was obligated by court order to share custody with the father, but the kid was starting to attempt suicide pretty often when returning from his father's house. 

She wasn't getting any sleep because she had to wake up every hour to make sure he was still alive. Every. Single. Night.

She went through this sleepless pattern for the next 3 years: 45 minutes of sleep at a time, more than occasionally walking in on what eventually became more than 40 suicide attempts before the child's father finally stopped bullying him.

The kids at school still haven't stopped yet. That's been 4 years and counting.

When she saw me eating by myself with these buttons on my bag, she had never met another trans person before, she told me. So when she saw my pins, she took it as a sign from God and asked me for help keeping her child alive. I gave her all the information and referrals I could. We became good friends.


A year later, the kid was kicked out of school for finally reacting and punching a bully who had been harassing and ridiculing him over his gender, for more than a year.

Teachers and administrators said they were not allowed to intervene, or else the state would strip the whole school district of funding.

She had no daycare, so she had to take him to work with her.

That day, he joined me for lunch. I asked him what he wanted in life. He said he wanted to skateboard and learn to play guitar. 

I asked his mother if I could take him to the music store. We went. He fell in love with the first electric guitar he ever touched.

I sneaked it behind the counter and told the clerk to hang onto it. Then I went back to buy it that afternoon on a credit card I didn't care how I was going to pay for.

He's almost old enough to drive now. And he's really good on guitar. He's about one year suicide-free these days.

All because I wore some rainbow buttons out to a very conservative restaurant filled with MAGA patrons and Fox News on the TV, knowing full well the odds of getting my ass kicked all the way into the emergency room over those buttons were much higher than the chances of what actually happened.

But what actually happened is exactly why I wear them.

This is what being "pro-life" really looks like.

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This is a one-person-run, trans-owned store that funds community projects, mutual aid, disaster recovery, domestic violence prevention, and community education work in the rural U.S. South. Every dollar you spend on Real Belonging is a dollar that actually supports our communities.