The History of Real Belonging

Where It Started

For over 15 years, I worked in the trenches of public health, nonprofits, and schools. I watched well-intentioned people cause real harm—not because they were cruel, but because no one taught them how to listen across difference.

I saw systems that were supposed to help actually hurt. Domestic violence survivors, families experiencing homelessness, folks navigating emergency shelters. I learned the hard way that you don't have to intend harm to cause it. You can hurt someone just by complying with a system designed by someone else, long ago, without human dignity in mind.

I was drawn to the space where tension lives: between policy and people, between intention and impact, between people's values and their fears.

Seeing the Whole System

I’m autistic. Pattern recognition is my native language. When something isn't working, I don't rush to fix the symptom. I step back. I ask better questions. I look for the root.

My work was grounded in the Community Readiness Model. If people don't believe something is a problem, no amount of policy will motivate them to change. But when they see the need themselves? That becomes the next natural step.

I learned this from Native American social scientists and Indigenous elders who taught me that systems are not accidental. They are designed with intent. Whose intent becomes the governing question.

Why Real Belonging?

Belonging isn’t performative. It isn’t compliance. It can’t be mandated.

A lot of times, organizations and individuals fall into activity bias — doing something so to make their efforts feel like progress, without addressing what’s actually needed. That burns people out and deepens their resistance to the work that actually needs done.

Belonging is about easing your tension, offering new opportunities for connection, and repairing the ruptures that cause people to experience unwelcomeness in everyday life.

In DEI, saw people feeling left behind, burned out by lectures they didn't ask for, targeting a level of training they were not ready for. Nobody wants to be forced into compliance. People want normalcy. People want to feel seen without being preached at.

Making Consulting Fashionable

And then, I drew the opossum.

I had just been fired from my trucking job due to anti-trans laws -- after also losing my substitute teaching job due to anti-trans bias, and my public health career due to anti-trans funding cuts. I was exhausted, lost, and making art to cope. I drew a hillbilly opossum in transgender overalls.

Then I squealed with delight at how freaking cute it was.

It hit me: The world needs more of this adorable AF little opossum right now. The world needs more happy feelings.

More looking into your closet and thinking fondly, "Pam got me that shirt because she loves me," and starting your day seeing a friendly greeting card at your desk that prompts you to call someone special instead of isolating alone after work.

Could DEI be a little bit... cuter? More tangible? More effective? More real?

What Real Belonging Is Today

Real Belonging didn't start as a shop. It started as a realization that belonging isn't performative and joy is resistance against dehumanization.

Today, Real Belonging is dual-force:

1. Consulting: Helping organizations understand the why before they fix the what.
2. Shop: Creating apparel, tools, and gifts that spark joy and offer a quiet, daily reminder that you belong.

Ten years ago, people wanted federal-level consulting for minority inclusion. I gave them that.

But underneath that work, people just want deeper human connection and comfort. So now I'm giving you that.

Same goal. Same mission. Same principles. The approach just shifted enough to meet you where you're at.

Community isn't something we wish for. It's something we make.

It's a gift that reminds someone they are loved every time they look in the mirror.

It's a blanket that feels like home for a trapped teen whose actual home feels like hell.

It's an invitation, a holiday gift, a care package left on a coworker's desk.

 

Real Belonging is a feeling and a daily practice. Let me know if you need any help finding what you're looking for.