The History of Real Belonging

Real Belonging began with the realization that people were getting hurt — usually not by malice, but by misunderstanding or lack of awareness.

For more than 15 years across workplaces, nonprofits, classrooms, and communities, I've watched well-intentioned people cause real harm because no one taught them how to listen to one another, how to communicate across difference, or how to build systems and policies that actually serve the humans bound by them.

Real Belonging is here to change that.

Where It Started

I didn’t set out to become a consultant for equity, inclusion, and belonging... especially not in a time when kindness, curiosity, and basic respect have become so painfully politicized. But from early on, I was drawn to the space where tension lives: between policy and people, between intention and impact, between people's values and their fears.

At the start of my public health career, I worked under the mentorship of Native American social scientists who taught me to see systems for what they are. Systems are not neutral, and they are not accidental. They are designed with intent.

Whose intent becomes the governing question. How are you going to impact your neighbors when you comply with those systems? You don't have to intend harm to cause harm. You can hurt a loved one just by complying with the systems of someone who intended harm when they designed the system long ago.

Over the years, I've worked directly with people in crisis: domestic violence survivors, people living with HIV, families experiencing homelessness, folks navigating emergency systems and shelter life. I know firsthand how institutions meant to help often cause further harm simply because the systems weren't built with human dignity in mind.

That’s where the core of Real Belonging took shape:

Real belonging doesn't happen from lectures or mandates.

It happens when someone meets you where you're at and loves you just as you are.

Seeing the Whole System

I’m autistic, which means pattern recognition is a native language for me. I’m always considering what’s holding the systems of life in place underneath the surface.

If something isn’t working, I don’t rush to fix the symptom. I step back. I ask better questions. I look for root causes.

When we understand the why, we can sustainably change the what.

With a background in social psychology, organizational leadership, and adult learning, I understand how trauma, shame, and unhealed misunderstandings shape how we communicate—and how effectively we function together. Helping people build trust and mutual respect isn’t just something I’m good at; it’s work I deeply enjoy.

This work is personal. It’s relational. It’s spiritual. And it’s grounded in nearly two decades of learning across cultures, classrooms, and communities—including time spent learning from Indigenous elders, whose teachings continue to guide how I approach care, accountability, and change.

Why Real Belonging?

Belonging isn’t performative. It isn’t compliance. It can’t be mandated.

A lot of times, organizations and individuals fall into activity bias — doing something so to make their efforts feel like progress, without addressing what’s actually needed. That burns people out and deepens their resistance to the work that actually needs done.

Real Belonging is about easing your tension, offering new opportunities for connection, and repairing the ruptures that cause people to feel unwelcome in everyday life.

My work is grounded in the Community Readiness Model, a framework that helps groups understand where people truly are before deciding how to move forward with solving a problem. If people don’t believe something is a problem, no amount of policy will motivate them to change. But when people see the need for change themselves, it becomes the next natural step instead of a battle to be won.

The right question, asked at the right time, can transform everything.

Making Consulting Fashionable

After much reflection on the anti-DEI backlash, I welcomed the evidence that many people obviously felt left behind by DEI. Many didn't want lectures or workshops. They wanted normalcy.

Don't we all?

And so, one day while I was drawing a hillbilly opossum in transgender overalls after I'd been fired from my trucking job due to anti-trans laws, it occurred to me that perhaps some people want their DEI to be a little less academic and a little bit... cuter.

What Real Belonging Is Today

Today, Real Belonging provides consulting and a full-service apparel and gift store that supports organizations, communities, and individuals who want to double down on serving the people who make life worth living.

At its core, Real Belonging is about building environments where people can show up fully, do good work, and stay. It always has been. Ten years ago, people wanted that in the form of federal-level consulting for minority inclusion. 

This year, people want that in the form of deeper human connection and comfort. So that's what I've started making. 

Same goal. Same mission. Same principles. The approach has shifted just enough that I can meet you where you're at today. 

Community isn’t something we wish for.
It’s a garden we water, weed, and show up to every day.
It's a gift that reminds someone they are loved every time they look in the mirror.
It's a blanket that feels like home for a trapped teen whose actual home feels like hell.
It's an invitation, a holiday gift, a care package left on a coworker's desk.

Real Belonging is a feeling and a daily practice. Let me know if you need any help finding what you're looking for.